I have two limericks for Naso. The first deals with the troubling rules of the Sotah – the suspected adultress. According to the text, if you suspect that your wife has been unfaithful, the Priests are to administer a special, bitter potion. If she is guilty, according to the text, her “thigh” will swell (euphemism alert…) and her unfaithfulness will come to light. It should be noted that the Rabbis eliminated this particular practice a long time ago.
The second Limerick deals with the laws of the Nazerite – or religious hermit. In general, the Torah frowns on religious asceticism. Jews pray in community, not isolation. However, if someone is determined to become a Nazerite, there are specific laws that must be followed. In particular, Nazarites are prohibited from cutting their hair, drinking wine or coming in contact with the dead.
If you suspect that your wife is untrue
Our text tells us what you must do
Drinking bitters will tell
If her stomach does swell
Then she’s not only sleeping with you.
If a Nazarite you want to be
You must follow these special rules three
Your hair can’t be trimmed
Don’t drink wine - it’s a sin
And from corpses you always must flee
A challenge:
ReplyDeleteIf to be a Nazarite one chooses,
One mayn't hang with one's peeps --the Jewses:
No Passover blitzes nor barber shop kibbitzes,
(Though one's corpses forbidden
Must end at final snoozes).
(Signed JWO)
Are Talmudic contributions acceptable?
ReplyDeleteMy favorite case in the Talmud
Is of a man who had a very big malmud
He stuck it from the back
In his own sack
“It was double sin!” - decided the amud
Nazir? To be one you must choose
ReplyDeleteTo abstain from your favorite booze.
Go to wakes? Not a chance;
And your hair, at a glance,
Must be seen to grow down towards your shoes.
Though parts of this parsha are beastly,
It brings us a blessing that's priestly,
And says not to falter
As we come to the Altar
With cattle enough to be feastly.