Torah Limericks is moving!!!!

Friends,
In a few weeks, my Limericks blog will be moving to a new site:  www.jcastnetwork.org   I'm very excited to be in on the ground floor of this cutting edge site dedicated to exciting and innovative Jewish content.  Check them out.

I will post new limericks on both pages for a few weeks.  All of the previous content from this site is on the Jcastnetwork site as well.

L'Shanah Tovah.

RJB

Nitzavim Limerick

This week’s parasha, Nitzavim, is especially resonant during this time of introspection and Cheshbon Ha-Nefesh (soul searching  - literally “taking an inventory of the soul) prior to the High Holy Days.  Moses reminds us that we all are standing at the foot of Mt. Sinai – every Israelite who is alive – and those yet to be born – to receive God’s instruction.  He tells us: “See, I set before you this day life and blessing, death and curse. Choose Life that you may live.”

Nitzavim

Together we all stood outside

A community unified

At the foot of the mount

We were called to account

To choose life with our arms open wide

Ki Tavo Limerick

Ki Tavo continues Moses' instructions about the proper rituals the Israelites must perform when entering into the land of Israel. In particular, we are commanded to bring the first fruits of the land to the priests and recite the phrase from Deuteronomy 26:8-10: My father was a wandering Aramean. He went down to Egypt in meager numbers and sojourned there; but there he became a great and populous nation....." I've always had a picture in my head of a long line of people - streching for miles - with baskets in their hands - reciting the phrase, dropping their baskets, and leaving. My father was born in Boston - but his parents were from Lithuania. I suppose it doesn't matter - you still have to say the phrase - hence this week's limerick:

If your lineage is pure European
You still must perform this routine -
When you bring your first fruits
To the priests you salute:
“Dad was a roving Aramean”

Ki Tetzei #2

Friends, the extra coffee I drank this AM got me inspired.  Here's another limerick that reflects on the mitzvah of building a parapet around the top of the roof of your house. 

If when building a house you forget
To furnish a parapet
If some careless clown
Should climb and fall down
His bruises could put you in debt

Ki Tetze

This week's parasha - Ki Tetze  - has the unique distinction of containing more commandments than any other parasha in the torah.  The groups of laws found here include family laws, laws concerning executed criminals, domestic laws, laws about marital and sexual misconduct, forbidden relationships, as well as a lot of other social, cultic, poverty, and family legislation. 

One of the most interesting laws concerns that of the "rebellious child" who refuses to listen to his parents.  The text teaches that, if your child (son, actually) refuses to listen to you, and is out of control, he must be presented to the elders of the city, pronounced uncontrollable, and stoned to death.....

As you can imagine, the Rabbis had a difficult time with this mitzvah - as do we all - and they stated unequivocably in the Talmud that this never happened... 

"There never was, nor will there ever be, a child who meets all of the legal qualifications of the 'wayward and rebellious son.' Why then was this law written? That you may study it and receive reward [for the Torah learning, despite its lack of practical application]." (Sanhedrin 71a)

Of course, like everything else in the Talmud, there was one Rabbi who stated:  not only did this happen - but I saw the boy's grave.......

Anyway - here's the Limerick:

If you have a rebellious child

Who won’t listen, gets drunk and is wild
We’re taught to disown him
So the elders can stone him
(But not once was a case like this filed)

Shoftim

Shoftim continues with Moses' teaching about rules of governance once the children of Israel enter into the promised land. The insistence that any society created be based on justice and shun corruption by leaders and the avoidance of contamination by Canaanite culture is a central theme of Deuteronomy.

For jurists to be fair and true
There are things that they never should do
Don’t be blinded by bribes
Or a poor person’s cries
Justice, Justice shall you pursue

Reeh Limerick

Reeh has many themes including prohibitions against pagan worship; deliniating the holiday cycle and the importance of taking care of the stranger and those less fortunate in our midst.  It also continues the Deuteronomic theme of blessings and curses. 

Reeh

God gives a commandment this day

A Blessing for those who obey

But if you choose to ignore

Bad things are in store:

Curses for turning away