NASO

I have two limericks for Naso.  The first deals with the troubling rules of the Sotah – the suspected adultress.  According to the text, if you suspect that your wife has been unfaithful, the Priests are to administer a special, bitter potion.  If she is guilty, according to the text, her “thigh” will swell (euphemism alert…) and her unfaithfulness will come to light.  It should be noted that the Rabbis eliminated this particular practice a long time ago.

The second Limerick deals with the laws of the Nazerite – or religious hermit.  In general, the Torah frowns on religious asceticism.  Jews pray in community, not isolation.  However, if someone is determined to become a Nazerite, there are specific laws that must be followed.  In particular, Nazarites are prohibited from cutting their hair, drinking wine or coming in contact with the dead.

If you suspect that your wife is untrue

Our text tells us what you must do

Drinking bitters will tell

If her stomach does swell

Then she’s not only sleeping with you.

If a Nazarite you want to be

You must follow these special rules three

Your hair can’t be trimmed

Don’t drink wine - it’s a sin

And from corpses you always must flee

Bamidbar

This week we begin the book of Bamdbar - also known as numbers.   Since Bamidbar begins with a census, this one is self-explanatory:

As Moses prepared to alight

On his journey through wilderness bright

He counted all of the men

Again and again

To see who’d be able to fight

Another poetic parshan - "The Torah in Haiku"

Ed actually gave me the idea for this blog. Check his out. It's great!
http://www.thetorahinhaiku.com/

Behukotai

This week's Torah portion, Behukotai, concludes the book of Leviticus/Vayikra.
It contains a simple formula for staying in God's graces: follow the Mitzvot and all will be well. But- if we stray from the path God sets out for us, we will experience terrible curses. The choice is ours.
Of course, life doesn't always work that way, does it?

If you follow God's command
You will profit from tilling your land
But if you fail to obey
Such curses, Oy vey!
It's quite simple. Do you Understand?

Behar Limerick

Parashat Behar speaks of the Sabbatical and Jubilee years.  The basic idea behind these practices is that we need to give the land a rest - in the case of the Sabbatical (or Shmita) year - every 7 years.  Every 50 years, not only does the land get a rest, but all depts are forgiven, the land reverts to the original ancestral ownership and slaves are freed.  The main idea behind these practices is the fact that even though we may lay claim to property, in the last analysis it all comes from God.

If a parcel of land you obtain/
And reap profit from grapevine or grain/
Though you’ve plowed and you’ve sown it/
You really don’t own it/
God gives and can take back again.